I was one of the first people in the Universe to get the new Galaxy Nexus phones (well, at least one of the first in Littleton, Colorado) and I was thrilled…for 2 days.  It was a great computer.  A great ebook reader, MP3 music player and “Words with Friends” device.  It was great for EVERYTHING, except making phone calls.  Calls would come in but I could not always hear the other caller–slight problem for a phone I use ALL DAY & NIGHT!  The problem persisted for 6 months as I tried to get it fixed.  Three refurbished handsets and one upgrade to the operating system, the problem could not be solved.  I earned my Cellular Sainthood through the ordeal, even though my photo was surely on dartboards in the break rooms at Verizon and Samsung.

While my oldest female offspring, Taylor, was in Africa frolicking with elephants and white rhinos this summer, we decided to tune up her car and get new tires put on it before her senior year up at CSU.  When it was ready to be picked up I told the Captain (my husband, Kirk…Capt. Kirk) to drop me off at the mechanic’s on his way to work and I would take it from there.  The car looked brand new and I quickly headed back home.  As I pulled up into the driveway in her car, I realized there was not a housekey on her keyring or a garage door opener in her car.  GREAT! I was locked out.  I had to get in and get ready for a business meeting I was supposed to be at in 2 hours.  I thought, “It’s okay, we always keep a spare key in the fake rock–you know, the “HEY BURGLARS, THE KEY IS IN THE FAKE ROCK OVER HERE RIGHT NEXT TO OUR FRONT DOOR” rock!  Except the Captain had removed the key in a moment of paranoia a few weeks earlier.  Empty fake rock.

After checking every window and door, I called the Captain to tell him he would have to come home to let me in.  He answered to hear me yelling, “WHY WOULD YOU TAKE OUR BURGLAR KEY OUT OF THE ROCK?”  “Did you SERIOUSLY lock our back door when you knew I was coming straight back home? I AM LOCKED OUT OF THE HOUSE and NEED TO GET IN!”  He was saying over and over “I’m on my way.  Do not break a window.”  But of course I could not hear him.  Idiotic phone!  My MacGyver mind went to work.

I decided to break in through my office window in the backyard–it was unlocked but stuck closed. Sure I would have to rip the screen off (which happened to be nailed in because of the strong winds we get) and the window is about five and a half feet off the ground, but if I stood on the little glasstop patio table, I could pull myself up and in.

I lifted the little side table up and over my head to clear the chair, but didn’t pay attention to the fact that the glass top was just set in place, not attached. The top came off hitting me in the cheekbone.  Now I was like the Incredible Hulk as he was being transformed.  Adrenalin surged through my body, my muscles grew 10 times bigger, my clothes were ripping and my super human strength kicked in allowing me to jump up and onto the edge of the, now glassless table, and pull myself through the window.  As I was teetering on the brick ledge, about to leap over my desk and stick the landing, my phone rang again.  I throw it across the room and let out a primal scream as I leapt.  Finally inside, the adrenalin starts to wear off and my body is turning back into its normal form, except for my eye.  It is now swelling beyond belief.   I can barely see out of my left eye because of the ostrich-size egg that has now grown on my face.  I grab an ice-pack from the freezer and lay down on the sofa.

The Captain walks in and says, “I told you I was on my way!”   I missed my meeting, but went into the Verizon store that evening and plunked down several hundred dollars on the brand new Galaxy SIII.  I think I was one of the first in the Universe to get one.  I was thrilled…and still am!

(Pictures drawn by the Schrecklet-our 16-year old, using PAPER app on the iPad)